I am starting to enjoy being around my son more then before! I love him more today then I did yesterday and he makes me laugh!! He has been out of school for a week and a half now and I am going less insane then ever before!! So far the meds seem to be helping even more. He does have his tantrums but they are becoming less. He is more of a joy to be around. I wish we didn't have to use the meds, but for now we do until he can learn to control things himself. One day I pray this well happen.
"Find a moment in laughter every day!" By: Me :)
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Little Attention Span
It is so amazing to me how little of an attention span he can have. He could be in the bathroom, which should be a quick in and out, but turns in to a 30 minute process because he sees a quarter on the counter or a magazine. He then forgets what he is doing and time lingers on. For me its in, out and done.
Anything that is in his eye sight becomes a distraction. It is quite amazing. It could be the smallest thing like a paper clip or a screw that was laying around and then poof he is off into nowhere land without a care in the world. If you ask him what he should be doing he either looks at you with a blank stare as if you are not there or says I don't know in a tone that is saying why should I even know, gosh mom leave me alone.
I'm thinking maybe we should get rid of everything we own, then he will have nothing to distract him! This isn't all new since we put him on meds either, it has stayed consistant.
Anything that is in his eye sight becomes a distraction. It is quite amazing. It could be the smallest thing like a paper clip or a screw that was laying around and then poof he is off into nowhere land without a care in the world. If you ask him what he should be doing he either looks at you with a blank stare as if you are not there or says I don't know in a tone that is saying why should I even know, gosh mom leave me alone.
I'm thinking maybe we should get rid of everything we own, then he will have nothing to distract him! This isn't all new since we put him on meds either, it has stayed consistant.
Monday, December 28, 2009
We upped his meds
About 9 days ago we upped his meds. Things seem to be a little better since then. He listens better and is focusing a lot better. We can get through workbooks in seconds flat. His complaining has gone down too.
Things are looking good :)
Things are looking good :)
Saturday, December 19, 2009
I wanna help my son
These medical laws are in place to protect, but they also harm at the same time. I try to get my son help, but because I don't have his fathers approval the doctors will not and cannot work with me. It's so hard to help him when my hands are tied.
His father was ordered to have health insurance on my son by November 16, 2009 and 3 doctor options to me by November 30, 2009. None of which have happened. He is now in contempt and I have to go spend more money to go back to court. My stupid lawyer can't even find the time to call me back. On top of all this Ethan was seeing someone for about 2 years and his dad decieded to cancel 3 appointments in a row w/o my permission. I found this out when I got a call from the doctor saying I can not long have you as a client due to the constant cancelations. Because of this Ethan has had no one outside of us to talk to since the end of June. 6 months later and his dad is still sitting on his A**.
If anyone out there knows anything that can help please let me know.
Thanks!
"Find a moment in laughter every day!" By: Me :)
His father was ordered to have health insurance on my son by November 16, 2009 and 3 doctor options to me by November 30, 2009. None of which have happened. He is now in contempt and I have to go spend more money to go back to court. My stupid lawyer can't even find the time to call me back. On top of all this Ethan was seeing someone for about 2 years and his dad decieded to cancel 3 appointments in a row w/o my permission. I found this out when I got a call from the doctor saying I can not long have you as a client due to the constant cancelations. Because of this Ethan has had no one outside of us to talk to since the end of June. 6 months later and his dad is still sitting on his A**.
If anyone out there knows anything that can help please let me know.
Thanks!
"Find a moment in laughter every day!" By: Me :)
More Meltdowns
Today was going really well. Ethan was well behaved and looking forward to his surprise this evening(Grandma and Grandpa coming for a visit). As it got closer and closer for them to come he got more excited. We could see him getting into the mode and let him know he needed to slow down because we were going to go out to dinner. We got home and Ethan wanted to wait outside for the surprise, we reminded him that he cannot go out there alone as it is not safe, they would be here any minute, but he had to wait inside. He then saw the Santa letter that he wanted to mail and yelled at us for not mailing it. John said, "I was waiting for you because I thought you wanted to mail it and we also needed to put a stamp on it." Ethan then started to yell at John and call names even though John was getting a stamp and go mail the letter with him. Ethan stopped yelling, grabbed his lego box, ran into his room and got on his top bunk. Then Grandma and Grandpa came in Ethan was yelling at John and Grandpa asked what was going on. John told him he wasn't in a good mood.
We all went about our business while Ethan was in his room. Then Ethan started to yell for John. I told Ethan John was on the phone. He stopped yelling. When John got off the phone he went to see what Ethan wanted. Ethan asked John to help him with his lego's and John said that Grandma and Grandpa are here so we can't do this right now, lets put this away. That sent Ethan into a major meltdown, he started jumping on top of John anand trying to hit him. John called for me and I came in. Ethan started yelling and name calling and hitting things. John yelled at him top stop and he did not. We both closed the door and left the room so he could cool down. A few minutes later he started to hit the door so I got up to go in there, but my dad said let me try. I said ok and he went in there. They had words and he told him he needed to straigten up. Ethan called him and asshole and to get out of his room and he said no your being the asshole and then left the room. I went in a few minutes later and he was still yelling and now crying too. He told me to get out, which I did to let him cool down a little. When it seemed quiet I went in there and he started to yell again. I spoke calmly to him and said lets try and finish your legos. He came over and I asked him to sit in my lap and told him that he can't behave like that. He told me he knew and he hugged me. We finished making his lego car and all was well. I asked him to put his shoes and socks on so we could go to dinner, John was now in the room with our daughter and told Ethan not to get clean socks to just put the ones he was wearing on. Ethan didn't like that and started calling John names, John told him to go sit in time out and Ethan said no your an asshold. John picked him up and put him in time out and told him that would be another minute. This dragged on and I told everyone to go to dinner and I would stay here. They left and Ethan ran out the door. John ran after him and handed him off to me and left. I got him in the house and Ethan kept yelling I wanna go to dinner. I told him he could not go to dinner because of his behavior. He was trying to leave and kicking and screaming. I eventually had to hold him down as he was hitting walls, throwing things at me and trying to leave the house. He tried to bit me while I was holding him down so I stuck his own hand in his mouth, he was so angry he bit his own hand and then got angrier when he realized he bit himself. He purposely bit himself 3 more times. He still would not calm down. This had been going on from start to finish for exactly 2 hours, his room was a mess and I had to think of a new direction. I left his room to think for a minute and then came back. I said to him, "I am starting the timer and this room better be clean in the next 10 minutes or I will throw away whatever is left, actually no I will give it away to someone else." He immediately sprung into action. I helped with a few things and then left to get his dinner ready. He was done in 6 minutes. I told him he has 4 minutes left can you put your pajamas on? He told me no and I said, you have 4 minutes left to put your pajamas on and clean up your shoes and I left the room. I looked back and again he had sprung into action. When he was done he sat at the table and began to eat. He said, "When I am done I am going to give you a piece of candy." I told him thank you, but I don't want any candy. Well this made him mad again and he stormed out. I said to him if his dinner isn't done in the next 10 minutes then he will have nothing else to eat. He ran back in and sat at the table and finished his whole meal. When everyone got back from dinner I told him to apologize, which he did. Then Grandma and Grandpa said they were leaving, they were suppose to spend the night, but left because of his behavior. They live about 8 hours away so it's a treat for them to be here. When they left, I went into my room and closed the door cause I was upset. When John came in to check on me and ask what was wrong I said they left cause of his behavior. Apparently Ethan heard this and got sad. John had him go brush his teeth and get ready for bed. When Ethan was done he gave me one of his bears and sat with me. I waited a few minutes and asked him what he should be doing. He said he didn't know and I told him to finish getting ready for bed. He did and then came back to me. He asked if I wanted the bear and I said no thank you. He said do you want a hug? I said sure and he gave me one. Then John came back in and talked to him about his behavior, he stood there, not sure if he was listening and then John told him to say good night and go to bed he did and fell asleep within minutes.
Now all is quiet in the house. I did video tape some of this, but I told Ethan that I would not post it online. I know he is only 6 but until he gives me permission I don't feel it is right to post the video. He is pretty good about making the right decision so one day it might get posted!
"Find a moment in laughter every day!" By: Me :)
We all went about our business while Ethan was in his room. Then Ethan started to yell for John. I told Ethan John was on the phone. He stopped yelling. When John got off the phone he went to see what Ethan wanted. Ethan asked John to help him with his lego's and John said that Grandma and Grandpa are here so we can't do this right now, lets put this away. That sent Ethan into a major meltdown, he started jumping on top of John anand trying to hit him. John called for me and I came in. Ethan started yelling and name calling and hitting things. John yelled at him top stop and he did not. We both closed the door and left the room so he could cool down. A few minutes later he started to hit the door so I got up to go in there, but my dad said let me try. I said ok and he went in there. They had words and he told him he needed to straigten up. Ethan called him and asshole and to get out of his room and he said no your being the asshole and then left the room. I went in a few minutes later and he was still yelling and now crying too. He told me to get out, which I did to let him cool down a little. When it seemed quiet I went in there and he started to yell again. I spoke calmly to him and said lets try and finish your legos. He came over and I asked him to sit in my lap and told him that he can't behave like that. He told me he knew and he hugged me. We finished making his lego car and all was well. I asked him to put his shoes and socks on so we could go to dinner, John was now in the room with our daughter and told Ethan not to get clean socks to just put the ones he was wearing on. Ethan didn't like that and started calling John names, John told him to go sit in time out and Ethan said no your an asshold. John picked him up and put him in time out and told him that would be another minute. This dragged on and I told everyone to go to dinner and I would stay here. They left and Ethan ran out the door. John ran after him and handed him off to me and left. I got him in the house and Ethan kept yelling I wanna go to dinner. I told him he could not go to dinner because of his behavior. He was trying to leave and kicking and screaming. I eventually had to hold him down as he was hitting walls, throwing things at me and trying to leave the house. He tried to bit me while I was holding him down so I stuck his own hand in his mouth, he was so angry he bit his own hand and then got angrier when he realized he bit himself. He purposely bit himself 3 more times. He still would not calm down. This had been going on from start to finish for exactly 2 hours, his room was a mess and I had to think of a new direction. I left his room to think for a minute and then came back. I said to him, "I am starting the timer and this room better be clean in the next 10 minutes or I will throw away whatever is left, actually no I will give it away to someone else." He immediately sprung into action. I helped with a few things and then left to get his dinner ready. He was done in 6 minutes. I told him he has 4 minutes left can you put your pajamas on? He told me no and I said, you have 4 minutes left to put your pajamas on and clean up your shoes and I left the room. I looked back and again he had sprung into action. When he was done he sat at the table and began to eat. He said, "When I am done I am going to give you a piece of candy." I told him thank you, but I don't want any candy. Well this made him mad again and he stormed out. I said to him if his dinner isn't done in the next 10 minutes then he will have nothing else to eat. He ran back in and sat at the table and finished his whole meal. When everyone got back from dinner I told him to apologize, which he did. Then Grandma and Grandpa said they were leaving, they were suppose to spend the night, but left because of his behavior. They live about 8 hours away so it's a treat for them to be here. When they left, I went into my room and closed the door cause I was upset. When John came in to check on me and ask what was wrong I said they left cause of his behavior. Apparently Ethan heard this and got sad. John had him go brush his teeth and get ready for bed. When Ethan was done he gave me one of his bears and sat with me. I waited a few minutes and asked him what he should be doing. He said he didn't know and I told him to finish getting ready for bed. He did and then came back to me. He asked if I wanted the bear and I said no thank you. He said do you want a hug? I said sure and he gave me one. Then John came back in and talked to him about his behavior, he stood there, not sure if he was listening and then John told him to say good night and go to bed he did and fell asleep within minutes.
Now all is quiet in the house. I did video tape some of this, but I told Ethan that I would not post it online. I know he is only 6 but until he gives me permission I don't feel it is right to post the video. He is pretty good about making the right decision so one day it might get posted!
"Find a moment in laughter every day!" By: Me :)
Thursday, December 17, 2009
So far a good day!
This morning there is really nothing to report. We had a really good start this morning. It was as if nothing happened yesterday. He was in a good mood and went to school happy. I hope it continues throughout the day!
"Find a moment in laughter every day!" By: Me :)
"Find a moment in laughter every day!" By: Me :)
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Please don't get me wrong, I love my son.
Name Key: As they have been changed to protect the innocent!
Ethan = my son (6 years old)
John = my husband
Stan = Ethan's biological Dad otherwise known as Sperm or Sperm Donor
Please don't get me wrong, I love my son, I really do, but I never knew you could hate him at the same time so very much.
Ethan is a bright and intelligent young man. He is caring and loving and the best big brother ever. When he is in his bad moods though, this all changes. In an instant he can go from being sweet and caring to name calling, swearing, yelling, throwing this and being as cruel as possible.
Today I woke up and he was in his room playing with Lego's, I told him two more minutes and the Lego's need to be cleaned up so you can get ready for school. When I came back amazingly enough he had listened and I asked him to get ready for school. I started getting his sister ready and my husband was home so when she was dressed I had him start her breakfast so I could get in the shower. When I got out turmoil had started. Ethan was angry and John was ignoring it. I asked Ethan what was wrong and he wouldn't tell me he just walked away. I told him I can't help him unless he talks to me. He still didn't, John came back in the house and I asked him, he said, "Apparently Ethan was talking to me when I was outside and I did not hear him so he got mad." I let Ethan calm down for a little while while I finished getting myself ready. He calmed down and got back to his chores. Him and I shared breakfast together.
Then he went to go brush his teeth and started screaming, I told him to stop and he did not listen, this in turn got me angry and I smacked him. Yes I know I should not have done it, I am very sorry I did. (He does tend to make horrid noises that are of utmost annoyance and when asked to stop ignores you and makes them worse). Thus began the downward spiral. He continued to scream and cry for about 45 minutes as well as calling me names and telling me to shut up and saying I am not going to school. I told him if he does not go to school then he will clean the house and he will not go to his dads tonight. Staying home from school is the same as being sick as far as going to daddy's house. He said, I don't care I hate him. I called his dad (Sperm) and he could not talk him down. My husband wanted to call him to have him take him however by the time he would have gotten here it would have been over with. He has no car so he has to wait for his girlfriend to come get him and then bring him over. Ethan tried to climb out the bedroom window to run away ( don't worry, we are on the bottom floor), I finally had to restrain him by sitting on him until he calm down. I told him if he calmed down I would get off and rub his back to help him calm down. I also told him I was sorry for smacking him and that I should have not done that. He finally did calm down enough so I could get off of him and he rolled over so I could rub his back. I asked him to go lay on his bed for a little while and I would be back to check on him.
I went and made a few calls and about 15 minutes later went to go check on him. When I did he was not in his room. I checked my room and there he was watching TV. He knew better and I told him to go to his room, he told me no every time I told him to go, so I picked him up and put him in there. Thus another downward spiral, but sorry if you refuse to go to school and you behave badly this does not mean you get to watch TV. You can play with your Lego's or read or even clean, but nothing else. He started throwing things at me and yelling, calling names, swinging at me and trying to climb out of the window yet again. I left the room and closed the door and he began to break one of his toys. I went back in and he said I don't even like this toy and continued to break it. I let him know that he would not get a Hanukkah present tonight because he broke his toy. He said I don't care. I came back in one more time to get my daughter ready for her bath and he was in a corner of his room and said this is where the idiots sit, I'm a fucking asshole, I wish I had a gun and I want to be in heaven. I left him in his room to calm down. After her bath was done he was finally done and I came back in to check on him and to get her dressed. He was sitting down and looked at me and said sorry for calling you names and yelling at you. I told him thank you for the apology and that I was sorry he did that too. I finished getting his sister dress and put her down for her nap. Then I went back in his room and told him he needed to clean it. He did start to clean it. While he was cleaning I said, "I am making lunch for myself would you like anything?" He told me he wasn't hungry I said OK and went to make lunch. I also made a phone call and was on the computer doing work and he came out and started at me. I ignored him as I was on a call. He started to close my computer and type on it to get my attention and then he pushed the power button, I pretended it didn't bother me and closed my computer. He then pulled the cord out of it and again I ignored him and continued my call. He then tried to rip the cord out of my phone and I took it out and wrapped up my call as I was done anyways. He had nothing else to take from me so he went back to his room to clean. I went back in to see how he was doing and he was playing with his cars. I told him that the only things he can play with are Lego's and reading books. He listened and went to his Lego's after I put his cars away.
Right now he is in his room calm. I am praying the rest of the day goes better. I know not everything I have done is right, but I am learning and asking for help where ever I can. If you have advice I would love to hear it. As for doctors his father and I have 50-50 legal custody so whatever I do he has to approve. He is now in contempt of court as he has not followed the orders so I am trying to get things moving along as best I can. At this point I am on my own until then. Thanks for listening, I hope this helps someone else know that we are not alone in this struggle.
"Find a moment in laughter every day!" By: Me :)
Ethan = my son (6 years old)
John = my husband
Stan = Ethan's biological Dad otherwise known as Sperm or Sperm Donor
Please don't get me wrong, I love my son, I really do, but I never knew you could hate him at the same time so very much.
Ethan is a bright and intelligent young man. He is caring and loving and the best big brother ever. When he is in his bad moods though, this all changes. In an instant he can go from being sweet and caring to name calling, swearing, yelling, throwing this and being as cruel as possible.
Today I woke up and he was in his room playing with Lego's, I told him two more minutes and the Lego's need to be cleaned up so you can get ready for school. When I came back amazingly enough he had listened and I asked him to get ready for school. I started getting his sister ready and my husband was home so when she was dressed I had him start her breakfast so I could get in the shower. When I got out turmoil had started. Ethan was angry and John was ignoring it. I asked Ethan what was wrong and he wouldn't tell me he just walked away. I told him I can't help him unless he talks to me. He still didn't, John came back in the house and I asked him, he said, "Apparently Ethan was talking to me when I was outside and I did not hear him so he got mad." I let Ethan calm down for a little while while I finished getting myself ready. He calmed down and got back to his chores. Him and I shared breakfast together.
Then he went to go brush his teeth and started screaming, I told him to stop and he did not listen, this in turn got me angry and I smacked him. Yes I know I should not have done it, I am very sorry I did. (He does tend to make horrid noises that are of utmost annoyance and when asked to stop ignores you and makes them worse). Thus began the downward spiral. He continued to scream and cry for about 45 minutes as well as calling me names and telling me to shut up and saying I am not going to school. I told him if he does not go to school then he will clean the house and he will not go to his dads tonight. Staying home from school is the same as being sick as far as going to daddy's house. He said, I don't care I hate him. I called his dad (Sperm) and he could not talk him down. My husband wanted to call him to have him take him however by the time he would have gotten here it would have been over with. He has no car so he has to wait for his girlfriend to come get him and then bring him over. Ethan tried to climb out the bedroom window to run away ( don't worry, we are on the bottom floor), I finally had to restrain him by sitting on him until he calm down. I told him if he calmed down I would get off and rub his back to help him calm down. I also told him I was sorry for smacking him and that I should have not done that. He finally did calm down enough so I could get off of him and he rolled over so I could rub his back. I asked him to go lay on his bed for a little while and I would be back to check on him.
I went and made a few calls and about 15 minutes later went to go check on him. When I did he was not in his room. I checked my room and there he was watching TV. He knew better and I told him to go to his room, he told me no every time I told him to go, so I picked him up and put him in there. Thus another downward spiral, but sorry if you refuse to go to school and you behave badly this does not mean you get to watch TV. You can play with your Lego's or read or even clean, but nothing else. He started throwing things at me and yelling, calling names, swinging at me and trying to climb out of the window yet again. I left the room and closed the door and he began to break one of his toys. I went back in and he said I don't even like this toy and continued to break it. I let him know that he would not get a Hanukkah present tonight because he broke his toy. He said I don't care. I came back in one more time to get my daughter ready for her bath and he was in a corner of his room and said this is where the idiots sit, I'm a fucking asshole, I wish I had a gun and I want to be in heaven. I left him in his room to calm down. After her bath was done he was finally done and I came back in to check on him and to get her dressed. He was sitting down and looked at me and said sorry for calling you names and yelling at you. I told him thank you for the apology and that I was sorry he did that too. I finished getting his sister dress and put her down for her nap. Then I went back in his room and told him he needed to clean it. He did start to clean it. While he was cleaning I said, "I am making lunch for myself would you like anything?" He told me he wasn't hungry I said OK and went to make lunch. I also made a phone call and was on the computer doing work and he came out and started at me. I ignored him as I was on a call. He started to close my computer and type on it to get my attention and then he pushed the power button, I pretended it didn't bother me and closed my computer. He then pulled the cord out of it and again I ignored him and continued my call. He then tried to rip the cord out of my phone and I took it out and wrapped up my call as I was done anyways. He had nothing else to take from me so he went back to his room to clean. I went back in to see how he was doing and he was playing with his cars. I told him that the only things he can play with are Lego's and reading books. He listened and went to his Lego's after I put his cars away.
Right now he is in his room calm. I am praying the rest of the day goes better. I know not everything I have done is right, but I am learning and asking for help where ever I can. If you have advice I would love to hear it. As for doctors his father and I have 50-50 legal custody so whatever I do he has to approve. He is now in contempt of court as he has not followed the orders so I am trying to get things moving along as best I can. At this point I am on my own until then. Thanks for listening, I hope this helps someone else know that we are not alone in this struggle.
"Find a moment in laughter every day!" By: Me :)
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